What If Your Goal is the Real Problem?
Every new year (or new month), many of us sit down to “get serious” about our goals.
We promise ourselves we’ll save more, earn more, be more disciplined, finally stay consistent. We set reminders. We feel motivated. For a while, it even works.
Then life happens.
By February or March, the excitement fades. The goal starts to feel heavy. We tell ourselves we didn’t try hard enough, weren’t focused enough, or just lack discipline. So we either push harder—or quietly give up and try again next year.
But here’s a thought worth sitting with: what if the issue isn’t you, but the goal itself?
Not because it’s “bad” or unrealistic. But because it doesn’t actually help you solve the problem you’re dealing with or it's not meaningful to your journey right now. It just looks flashy on paper.
When goals don’t fit our real lives, they create pressure instead of progress. They demand effort but don’t offer direction. And over time, they leave us feeling tired, guilty, or stuck—despite doing our best.
This post isn’t about lowering your standards or dreaming smaller. It’s about helping you aim better.
3 Signs Your Goal are Working Against You
Not every struggling goal is a bad one. But there are signs that a goal isn’t helping you move forward—it’s quietly holding you back.
Here are a few signals worth paying attention to.
1. You keep resetting the same goal every year:
If your goal looks almost identical every January, that’s a clue. It usually means the goal sounds right, but it doesn’t fit how your life actually works.
For example, if “save more money” keeps coming back, the issue may not be saving—it may be irregular income, unexpected expenses, or the lack of a simple system that runs without constant effort.
When the goal doesn’t change, but the result doesn’t either, the problem is rarely effort.
2. The goal feels heavy instead of helpful
A useful goal should bring a sense of direction, even when it’s challenging. If your goal mostly creates guilt, pressure, or anxiety, something is off.
You might notice:
- You avoid checking your progress.
- You feel bad thinking about the goal.
- You only engage with it when you’re feeling motivated.
That emotional weight is often a sign that the goal is asking too much without offering enough clarity.
3. You’re working hard but not feeling any relief
This is one of the clearest signs.
If you’re putting in effort but still feel financially stressed, overwhelmed, or uncertain, your goal may be pointing in the wrong direction.
Effort without relief leads to exhaustion. The right goal should ease pressure over time—not increase it.
How to Redesign a Goal That Actually Helps You
Once you’ve realised that a goal isn’t helping you the way it should, the next step isn’t to throw everything away. Most goals don’t need to be scrapped—they need to be reshaped.
Here’s a simple, practical way to redesign a goal so it supports you instead of stressing you out.
Step 1: Name the real issue, not the ideal outcome
Start by setting the outcome aside for a moment and focus on what’s actually bothering you.
Instead of:
- “I want to save more money”
Ask:
- What feels hard right now?
- Where do I feel the most pressure?
- When does money stress show up the most?
When you name the real issue clearly, your goal becomes easier to design.
Step 2: Shift the goal from a result to a behaviour
Outcomes feel good to talk about, but behaviours are what change your day-to-day life.
Instead of:
- “Save ₦500,000 this year”
Try:
- “Set up an automatic transfer that saves ₦5000 monthly when money comes in.”
Behaviour-based goals remove constant decision-making. They create structure, not pressure.
If a goal relies on willpower every single time, it’s too fragile.
Step 3: Tie the goal to a moment that already exists
A goal is more likely to stick when it fits into your routine.
Ask yourself:
- When does money already come in?
- When do I already check my phone or account?
- When do I usually make spending decisions?
Then anchor the goal to that moment.
For example:
- Save immediately after income lands
- Review spending every Sunday evening
- Check balances before going out, not after
When a goal has a clear place in your week, it stops floating in the background.
A good goal should make life feel more manageable over time, not more complicated.
Redesigning a goal isn’t about lowering your standards. It’s about choosing goals that support the life you’re actually living.
As you move forward, give yourself permission to aim for goals that fit your life as it is now. Goals that solve real problems. Goals that make your days feel lighter, not heavier. When your goals start working for you, consistency stops feeling like a struggle—and growth begins to feel natural.