5 Actionable Tips To Be a Better Parent Everyday

Parenting is one of the most rewarding yet challenging roles you’ll ever take on. Every day brings new experiences. Just when you think you’ve figured it out, something new comes along to show you there’s still more to learn. 

The desire to be a better parent is something most of us share, but there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Every child is unique, and what works for one family might not work for another. However, there are some practical things that can help you become more attuned to your child’s needs and create a positive, nurturing environment at home.

In this post, we'll explore five practical ways to become a better parent. These tips are designed to be straightforward and actionable, helping you connect with your children and support their development in meaningful ways. Let's get started.

1. Active Listening

This is not just about hearing their words and nodding your head, but truly understanding their feelings and perspectives. Here’s how you can practice active listening in a way that's both practical and effective:

• Give full attention: When your child wants to talk, put aside distractions like your phone or computer. Make eye contact and face them fully. This shows them that what they have to say is important and valued.

• Reflect back what you hear: To make sure you've understood correctly, try repeating back what your child has said. For example, “It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated about your homework.” This not only confirms that you’re listening but also helps them feel heard.

•  Ask open-ended questions: Encourage your child to express themselves more deeply by asking questions that require more than a yes or no answer. Questions like, “What was the best part of your day?” or “How did that make you feel?” can lead to richer conversations.

• Be patient: Sometimes children need time to articulate their thoughts and feelings. Avoid interrupting or jumping in with solutions right away. Give them space to express themselves fully.

• Validate their feelings: Acknowledge their emotions, even if you don’t fully understand them. Phrases like, “I can see why you’d feel that way,” help your child feel supported and understood.

Make active listening a regular part of your interactions, and you’ll find that your relationship grows stronger and more positive.

2. Set boundaries and stick to them

Clear and consistent boundaries provide a sense of security, as your child knows what is acceptable and what isn’t. While it might seem easier to be lenient at times, especially when you’re tired or busy, sticking to the boundaries you’ve set is crucial for your child’s development and your family’s overall harmony. Here are some tips to help you get started:

Define clear rules

Start by establishing clear, age-appropriate rules that your child can easily understand. These rules should cover key areas like behavior, chores, screen time, and bedtime. When setting these boundaries, it’s important to explain the reasons behind them so your child understands that they’re not arbitrary but are in place for their well-being.

For instance, If you’re setting a rule about bedtime, explain why it’s important for them to get enough sleep. You might say, “Getting enough sleep helps you stay healthy and gives you the energy to play and learn the next day.” This approach makes the rule feel more like a positive habit than a restriction.

Be consistent with enforcement

Consistency is key when it comes to boundaries. If you allow your child to bend the rules occasionally, they may start to test limits more often. While it’s normal to be flexible in certain situations, consistently enforcing the rules helps your child understand that boundaries are important and must be respected.

Use positive reinforcement

When your child follows the rules and respects the boundaries you’ve set, acknowledge their efforts with positive reinforcement. This doesn’t always mean giving rewards; simple praise or recognition can go a long way in encouraging good behavior.

For instance, if your child finishes their homework before screen time, praise them by saying, “I’m proud of you for finishing your homework before playing. It shows you’re responsible and can manage your time well.” Positive reinforcement like this helps reinforce the behavior you want to see.

Address boundary testing calmly

It’s natural for children to test boundaries as they explore their independence. When this happens, it’s important to remain calm and firm. Avoid getting into power struggles or reacting emotionally, as this can undermine the boundary you’ve set.

3. Be a role model

Being a parent means your child looks up to you, often more than you might realize. They watch your actions, listen to your words, and absorb your attitudes. This makes you one of their most influential role models. Children learn by observing, so the way you handle everyday situations teaches them how they might handle similar situations in the future. It’s important to be mindful of the example you set because it can shape their behavior, values, and overall outlook on life. Here are some tips:

Practice What You Preach

Children are quick to notice when there’s a gap between what you say and what you do. If you’re constantly telling your child to be kind, patient, or hardworking, but you don’t exhibit these qualities yourself, they’ll likely pick up on that inconsistency. The key to being a good role model is to align your actions with your words.

Demonstrate positive attitudes toward challenges

Life is full of challenges, and how you react to them teaches your child how they might handle difficulties. If you approach challenges with a positive attitude and a problem-solving mindset, your child is more likely to do the same. Let’s say you’ve had a tough day at work. Instead of expressing frustration or anger, try to discuss the situation calmly and focus on what you can do to improve it. 

Handle mistakes gracefully

Nobody’s perfect, and it’s important for your child to see that mistakes are a normal part of life. How you handle your own mistakes can teach your child about accountability and resilience. If you make a mistake, whether it’s something minor like forgetting an appointment or something more significant, acknowledge it openly and discuss what you’ve learned from it. This teaches your child that it’s okay to make mistakes as long as we learn from them and try to do better.

4. Encourage Independence

Encouraging independence in your child helps them develop confidence, problem-solving skills, and the ability to make decisions. While it’s natural to want to protect your child and make life easier for them, encouraging independence prepares them for the challenges they’ll face as they grow up. Here are some tips:

Start with age-appropriate responsibilities

One of the best ways to encourage independence is by giving your child responsibilities that are appropriate for their age and development. These responsibilities should gradually increase as they grow older. For younger children, simple tasks like putting away their toys, helping set the table, or picking out their clothes can build a sense of responsibility. As they get older, you can introduce more challenging tasks like doing their laundry, managing their homework schedule, or preparing a simple meal.

Allow them to make choices

Giving your child opportunities to make choices empowers them and helps them understand the consequences of their decisions. Start with small choices and gradually give them more autonomy as they demonstrate they can handle it. You might let your child choose between two outfits in the morning, decide what activity they want to do after school, or pick out a book to read before bed. For older children, allowing them to plan their weekend activities or choose how to spend their allowance can build decision-making skills.

Resist the urge to hover

As a parent, it’s tempting to step in and take over when you see your child struggling, but this can hinder their ability to develop independence. Instead of immediately offering help, give them space to try things on their own.

Encourage problem-solving

Encouraging your child to solve problems on their own is a key part of fostering independence. When they come to you with a problem, instead of providing the solution, guide them through the process of finding it themselves. For instance, if your child is upset because they can’t find a toy, instead of finding it for them, ask questions like, “Where did you last see it?” or “What places have you checked?” This approach helps them think critically and develop problem-solving skills.

5. Keep learning and growing 

Parenting is a lifelong journey, and there’s always something new to learn. Staying open to growth and continuous learning helps you become a better parent and adapt to your child’s changing needs. 

Read and research

There’s a wealth of information available on parenting, from books to blogs to research studies. Reading about different parenting styles, strategies, and child development can give you new ideas and insights to apply in your daily life. Dedicate some time each month to read a parenting book or article. Choose topics that are relevant to your current challenges or interests, whether it’s discipline, communication, or helping your child with school. Take notes on ideas that resonate with you and try to implement them gradually.

Attend workshops

Parenting workshops and classes offer the opportunity to learn from experts and connect with other parents. These sessions can provide valuable tools, techniques, and perspectives that you might not have considered. Speaking about parenting workshops, we are organizing a back-to-school webinar series. The first one is this Saturday. Click here for more details.

Reflect on your parenting

Taking time to reflect on your parenting experiences helps you identify what’s working and what might need adjustment. Reflection allows you to learn from your successes and challenges, making you a more effective parent over time.

At the end of each day or week, spend a few minutes reflecting on your interactions with your child. Consider what went well and where you struggled. Ask yourself questions like, “What did I handle well?” and “How could I have responded differently?” This reflection can guide your growth and help you make positive changes.

Seek support from other parents

Parenting can feel isolating at times, but you’re not alone. Other parents are going through similar experiences, and connecting with them can provide support, encouragement, and new ideas. Join a parenting group, either in-person or online, where you can share your experiences, ask for advice, and learn from others. These groups can be a valuable resource for tips, reassurance, and a sense of community.

Remember, no one is a perfect parent, and that’s okay. What matters most is that you are present, supportive, and always striving to do your best for your child.

So, as you continue on this parenting journey, keep these tips in mind. They’ll help you build a strong, loving relationship with your child that will last a lifetime. And don’t forget, it’s okay to ask for help and keep learning along the way. Parenting is a continuous process of growth, for both you and your child.