The Bank of Mum and Dad: How Early Money Experiences Can Make or Break Kids
For most children, their first experience with money doesn’t come from a bank, an app, or a card. It comes from home.
It starts early. A child receives money from a relative, a family friend, or a loved one—maybe after a visit, a celebration, or a holiday. The money is handed to the child, and almost immediately, a parent steps in and says, “Let me keep it for you.”
And we all know what often happens next 😂.
Sometimes the money gets mixed in with household spending. Sometimes it’s used “temporarily” with every intention of replacing it. Sometimes it simply disappears, not out of bad intent, but because life happens. The child rarely asks questions, and when they do, they’re told, “I’m keeping it safe for you.”
In many homes, this is normal. It’s familiar. It’s done out of care, not deceit.
In other homes, parents take a more structured approach. They open a savings account for their child and deposit these gifts there. It feels responsible and forward-thinking. The money is safe, untouched, and growing slowly in the background.
Both approaches come from the same place: protection. Parents want to keep their children’s money safe. They want to manage it wisely until the child is “old enough.”
But in both cases, the parent is left to handle their child's finances without involving the child.
Is this the best way to teach kids about money or is there a better way? This post will explore all that.
What Children Learn From the “Bank of Mum and Dad”
When parents hold money on behalf of their children, they’re not just keeping cash or balances. They’re teaching lessons—often without realising it.
The first lesson is about trust.
When a child hands over their money, they are trusting that it will be kept safe, remembered, and returned when needed. If that trust is honoured, the child learns that money can be managed responsibly. If it’s broken or unclear, they learn that money is something they don’t fully control or understand.
The second lesson is about visibility.
When money is taken and stored away without explanation, children don’t learn where it goes or how it’s managed. They simply learn that adults handle money behind the scenes. This can make money feel distant and confusing—something they’re not meant to engage with, ask about, or understand.
Even when parents open savings accounts for their children, the lesson depends on involvement. If the child never sees the account, never understands when money goes in, and never hears what it’s for, the account becomes invisible. The child knows money exists somewhere, but it doesn’t feel real or personal.
Another lesson children learn is about ownership.
If money given to a child is always taken away immediately, the child may not fully feel that it belongs to them. They might learn that money is temporary or conditional—that it can be claimed back at any time. This can affect how confident they feel making decisions later on.
On the other hand, when parents explain, show, and involve children—even in simple ways—children begin to understand that money is something they can learn to manage. They start to see it as a tool, not a mystery.
The “bank of mum and dad” is powerful because it sets the tone. It shapes how children feel about money long before they ever open an account or use a card. And those early lessons tend to last.
Before children trust banks, systems, or schools with money, they learn whether they can trust the adults guiding them at home. And that trust becomes the foundation for everything that follows.